asleep cat SHOULD be asleeeeeeeeeeeeeep

... however it turns out that he is not. damn

so, i decided to log off early tonight to try and get some sleep... fat lot of good that did me. so i came back online... and found i didnt have anything to do either.

i wish i didnt have these points when i cant get to sleep due to thinking too much... seriously, my mind hardly works sometimes untill my head hits the pillow, its damn annoying

well, time to get back to being bored... hurah

Ever get the feeling?

     "I wanted you to know, that I love the way you laugh;
      I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away.
      I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well;
      I wanna hold you high and steal your pain"

I guess that might have been a little more appropriate if there were someone... well, there is someone but I still need to think things through before anything could happen because it would mean a whole different way of looking at things and although I think I would be, i'm still not too sure... you can love the song but not be able to do the dance... if you know what I mean! I just want to make sure I'm willing to do the dance.

Well,anyway, that's what I wanted to talk about anyway...

Question: Ever get the feeling you act inappropriately a lot without realising it?
  Answer: Yes... all the time


I am completely sorry if I ever act inappropriately at any time, (assuming my calculations that I am some one with ADHD and the mind of a 4 year old is correct) I don't think I really know things as a whole. I'm not sure what is the correct thing to say or do at the time so I just go with gut instinct and whatever my mind tells me to do first, I know this annoys some people but I cant help it, I have tried to be more thoughtful but that makes me panic (no... honestly) I don't seem to be able to thrive under some types of pressure, however when my mind is set t the correct wavelength I am great at it (weird huh?) I guess I'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me, I've had enough of that... I just wanna ask simply if I do do something wrong or act in an inappropriate way, please tell me so I will know not to do whatever it was again.

Thank you all

Spike Revy Lawliet Rin Lelouch Neko Santarius IV

20th Feb

well, some people say friday 13th in the most unlucky day ever, i disagree, yesterday... being 20th Feb was so bad, absolutly nothing went right. so from now on 20th Feb will be my official unlucky day... here it is in list form

1) early for bus by 15mins
2) matalan didnt have the right size pants i wanted.. not good matalan, i trusted you
3) missed bus by 5 mins, had to wait 25 mins for next one
4) found out 1 of three people i was meeting wasnt going to be there (why kotori, why?)
5) found out second person was doing other stuff, (thouhg you have explained laura and i completely understand)
6)got stoped by 15 (not kidding) red cross people in street
7) when i told one of them i wass 17 to get out of talking she stated that i "look alot older then that) thanks
8) line in greggs was HUGE (ok not so bad but i was starved)
9) tried to look for pants in town, none there either =(
10) found thirs person i was supposed to meet wasnt comeing, seemed to be a message of there isnt a point if its just the two of us (i my be wrong but thats the message i got)
11) Hmv had death note but for way expensive price... forbidden planet didnt have it at all
12) missed bus home by 5 mins (again), had to wait 25 mins (again)
13) death note (series) is going to take at least a few more days to download
14) wireless card seems to be working again, just after i have paid for a wireless usb drive
15) wanted to watch "the warlords" but could not find it, decided to start watching "the x files: season 1"... couldnt find that either, watched bones to find it was a anoyingly annoying episode whioch is supposed to carry on a storyline from earlier on but does it all wrong (the gravedigger is suppsed to bury people alive, not on navy ships, also he would not be a female high ranking person from the FBI... WTF? and that was with booth being "helped" by the ghost of his old was buddy? its a invdestigation show not a sci-fi.
16) accidently smashed my fave cup while swinign out of bed after being pissed off by bones... it was full of coffee btw


i think that is all... feeling better now actually.

Point in time

So, I am at this very exact point in time very content. I feel happy with where I am, what's happening and the people I know, I just feel happy overall (and this isn't tiredness talking either) I just feel happy.

So, I'm expecting a few things to be happening over the next week or two, don't ask what they are because until they happen I wont be able to remember, joy, but still.

I have been thinking about my life and have come to the conclusion that if someone demanded to know everything about me, I would most probably be happy saying all but one thing, there seems to be just 1 single secret which I would not be willing to say (and don't ask because I am not going to say it =P )

random mess, I know but who cares, I'm happy =D

YEY

Oh another piece of news which most will already know, my new fur name has been elongated to:

Spike Revy Lawliet Rin Lelouch Neko Santarius IV ... this is because "Levy" as originally put was spelt wrong in “Black Lagoon” for the first series and is supposed to be "Revi" and I just had to add "Lawliet" after starting to read and becoming a fan of death note.

So that's everything.

Night all

Spike Revy Lawliet Rin Lelouch Neko Santarius IV

I'M UPSTAIRS... =D

you probably don't realise how big a deal this is but trust me, its huge... for the last so long i have been having to sit downstairs connected directly to the router to be able to use my internet due to my wireless card breaking for no apparent reason, well i decided to just buy a wireless usb and it works, so now i can be anywhere. =D

so, i haven't been online for a couple days, if anyone missed me (peh) then sorry... i have been using the time productively to think of a plan of action which will be implemented once i find all materials needed and have enough money for them. this plan however will stay secret until it is fully operational. i will now say though that it will make some people laugh and will make Draken do a facepaw so all will be as it is normally.

is all for now. =D luvs you all <3

So... yeah...

So, a few lines from a ben folds song come to mind:

I'm just an ordinary guy
And all I want is to be loved - is that so wrong?

I find myself sitting once again, bored and alone. nothing to do, no one to talk to. I know in no L, but come one, who can be that clever and adorable (well... i can think of a few actually but that's beside the point)

I'm not finished two Deathnote books... thinking of starting to buy the Anime... i think it's on sale on play.com

I had one of those dreams last night, one of the ones which is great to have but i know i shouldn't really be thinking about it. not to worry though, the person in it is someone i haven't talked to for years.

if someone is out there and isn't busy with the bullshit that is valentines day today, please help me get away from the boredom which is surrounding me...

L

L is so adorable, i just wanna hug him =D

all i wanted to say

Spike Levy Rin Lelouch Neko Santarius IV

Yes my fellow people, that is the full decided name for my fur self. I was going to put "Lawliet" straight after Spike but I could never remember it so I replaced it with Levy as in the character from Black Lagoon.

I am "Huggy Wuggy Kitten Man" too... which is kinda like my furs catchphrase if you will... I'm huggy yet respectable... don't believe me? (yeah, neither do I)

so, I've been thinking of (though I like the ones I have already since they are awesome and I am def keeping them forever with the big change of still using them a lot too) making my own fur suit... since the last parts were done by Draken and Rabid. I feel like I want to have a try just to see if I can do it anywhere near well... if I don't do a bad job on the ears and tail I may think of making a partial fur suit and then possibly a full one =D

I'm getting exited about this

Oh yes... I forgot to mention the Fur Meet on Sunday.... it was Awesome, I had fun... had skittles (the alcoholic drink, not the sweets) and made friends... everyone liked my collar and bell, most liked my ears and again most liked my tail... (going to the point of one person actually humping it)

So yes... that's all for now I think... well apart from, I have got rid of yahoo messenger and got MSN instead. yey

Night all <3

OMG... Huge realisation

Ever had one of those times when you just realize something suddenly as a whole load of information which seems as though it was missing for a while comes back to you? yeah, I have just had that moment.... I just realised that I have been absent from my body for about the last month and have just returned... I must say that although I had a great time seemingly away from this life (I like to think i was fulfilling my dream of being a bounty hunter who happens to be a fur and a warlock at the same time) I have not been entirely myself. if I have told you any information in the past month then its probably not true so you may want to ask again. there are obviously parts which will inevitably be true as even though I was gone I feel I had a little control. I just don't want people getting the wrong impression, I have been looking over some people, for example Elyse everything i said to you was true. rabid, same goes for you, but to show an example of somewhere i went completely wrong, something i told to Draken about borrowing death note books from Wolfie? yeah, not entirely true, I'm borrowing them from Rabid... damn mistakes.

i apologise if i offend anyone with these mistake type things i have been doing but i honestly didn't mean it.

well, it is me after all :D if making mistakes is a human asset then i'm the most human of us all.

signing off again

Spike Lawliet Rin Lelouch Neko Santarius IV

P.S. Should I try to put the full name of "Spike Lawliet Rin Lelouch Neko Santarius IV" for RBW this year? Or should I just put "Neko-San" like last year? Would like opinions.

Got bored

so... i was in newcastle on wednesday... applied for 5 jobs, got one application form

yeah boring i know (though i did get 22 hugs :D yey)

bored now

going to a furmeet on sunday

not much else

just wanted to put that out to the world

yeah, that's all

c ya

signing off...

...Spike Lawliet Rin Lelouch Neko Santarius IV

so... snow eh?

right... so i began this week thinking i may get a few things done, first i wanted to get my hair cut, then go to newcastle to hand out a few cv's, i also wanted to go for a few runs to keep my weight in check and possible tidy my room. oh plus if i has any spare time i wanted to watch the rest of fate/stay night... looks like thats all im gonna be doing.

started this morning, i suddenly realised my hair cutting place is shut on a monday, not wanting to go putting cv's out and not being bothered to go for a run, i tried to tidy my room, realised its more then a days job so postponed that untill i have more free time. i ended up therefor watching fate/stay night. (good btw :D)

now i find out that the snow which was pretty bad today (i wont lie, i love snow but not right now... i also want to enquire if anyone will team up with me to run down northumberland street singing "walking in a winterwonderland"... that would be awesome) its apparently going to get much worse tommorow... meaning i wont be able to go for run and busses most likely will be off. damn. still gonna try though, guess i can trudge down to north shields and get my hair cut still.

anyway, in other news... nothing (apart from car, car, car, map, car, map, map)

(also i cant be bothered to spell check this)

i will probably be back tommorow but dont count on it...

night all :) <3